Hi! Today is my last day of Sabbath. Sekitar 2 minggu yang lalu, aku memutuskan mengambil waktu untuk Sabat dan beristirahat. Artinya menaruh semua keresahanku dan segala pemikiranku, menyiapkan ruang untuk Tuhan yang melayani dan berbicara secara personal denganku. Selama 14 hari aku menyaring apa yang aku dengar, apa yang lihat, apa yang aku baca, dengan siapa aku berkomunikasi. I spent a lot of time on the Word, spent time with my family, and also with myself. Dan Tuhan berbicara sangat banyak. Pada awalnya aku datang mengambil waktu ini untuk bersyafaat, namun pada akhirnya Tuhan sendiri banyak berbicara tentang siapa Dia dan kepada ku dan tentangku secara personal. I deal with a lot of stuff along the way when I was writing this draft. Like is it okay to post about this because I know it is something you cannot understand if you never experience it. But through certain stories and certain moments these past 2 days confirm me to share this thinking to you. This writing is born from my personal experience and personal thinking in which cannot be something to hold on except the Word. I hope it opens a part of your mind while you're reading this.
Dalam waktu Sabat itu, Tuhan banyak berbicara tentang kasih, terutama kasih kepada Tuhan. Aku banyak bergumul mengenai "kasih" ini. Karena ketika kamu berada di situasi, atau di lingkungan yang mengutamakan kualitas pekerjaan atau cenderung memilah antara subyektif/obyektif, rasanya akan susah untuk mempraktekkan kasih seperti yang ada di 1 Korintus 13 kepada semua orang. It seems impossible, it seems like something you cannot fully do in real life. Apalagi kalau kita ingat tentang God's greatest commandment, "to love God and to love others" with this definition of love. Is it even humanly possible? Let's break it down.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. (even if the other person is rude and slow and stupid)
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. (even if we have achieve something great and the other person is just stupid).
It does not demand its own way. (even if we know we got the brains)
It is not irritable, (it doesn't like to pick on people even if that person is so much fun to tease at)
and it keeps no record of being wronged. (even if that time we were right)
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (even if the truth means we are the one to blame/or proved wrong)
Love never gives up, (even if situation or the other person is draining us)
never loses faith, (even if it seems unchangeable and hopeless)
is always hopeful, (although it makes us look stupid and weak)
and endures through every circumstance. (this may make us looked naive)
Just by looking at it, it already seems tiring right? Terkadang orang-orang dalam kehidupan kita, atau situasi di sekitar kita membuat kita menjadi orang yang keras, orang yang tegas tanpa melihat seseorang lebih dari apa yang terjadi dengannya saat itu. Bahkan kehidupan membuat adanya ambiguitas dalam pengertian akan tegas, disiplin dan keras. Tegas berbeda dengan dengan kasar. Disiplin berbeda dengan otoriter. Keras berbeda dengan galak. Bahkan apa yang kita konsumsi dan apa yang menjadi lingkungan kita akan mempengaruhi apa yang kita percayai. All of this hardwork and perfection mindset made love so impossible and even makes us weak and dumb. Why would you be so patient when obviously that person is wasting your time? Why would you spend your time with someone who is just a problem?
And that is the misconception on love.
All of this things are true. We shouldn't surround ourselves with trouble, and we should always think of quality from a person. Tapi apakah kita pernah berpikir bahwa mungkin dengan adanya permasalahan dan kesusahan pada orang-orang sekitar kita, sebenarnya itu adalah kesempatan untuk kita meringankan beban mereka?
Kasih yang membuat seseorang bisa berubah. Kasih yang membuat seseorang rela berkorban. Dan terkadang kasih yang membuat kita seakan-akan terlihat bodoh. But to remember that God first loves us, isn't that what makes God a fool for us? How much have we waste His time, and yet He keeps on faithfully waits for us. Kemarin di gereja, pendeta yang berbicara mengatakan bahwa dia tidak percaya kalau orang percaya kepada Tuhan itu galak atau kasar. Karena orang yang penuh kasih tidak akan memperlakukan orang lain tanpa kasih.
Once I was restored with this definition of love, I look at people and situation differently. I can't be hard on people because I know they are struggling through some stuff that maybe I don't understand. I can't tolerate on something evil because I always want to celebrate the good. Mengasihi itu menempatkan orang lain diatas ego kita. Kasih menjadi sabar akan perubahan dan pemulihan orang lain. Kasih membuat kita bisa mengerti pergumulan orang lain. Namun karena kasih, kita akan mengoreksi kesalahan seseorang namun juga dengan penuh kasih with no judgments. Karena kasih akan selalu menginginkan yang terbaik dari orang lain, kasih akan selalu membentuk orang lain, kasih tidak akan menjadi subjektif namun kasih akan selalu menjadikan subjek itu sebagai peran yang utama. And when we are full of love, we are easy to repent, to become a better person and change our bad behaviours. It becomes easy to worship God (even though the music is so bad) and to understand His word (even if the one who preaches it makes us so sleepy just to hear it), and what He wants us to do (eventho He doesn't speak audibly or what He wants is ridiculous). Life suddenly become so enjoyable and so joyous. Because we finally realized that:
God is patient and kind. (with us)
God makes it hard to be jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
God does not demand His own way. (but gives us free will)
God is not irritable, (the Spirit is gentle, it will shut up when we told Him to shut up)
and God keeps no record of being wronged. (by us, which is so ridiculous to think about it)
God does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (for ANYONE)
God never gives up, (on us)
God never loses faith, (on us)
God is always hopeful, (on us)
God endures through every circumstance. (with us running away or being hard on Him)
If God can do this to us, and God whom we believe in is living in us, shouldn't that enables and requires us to do the same thing to others?
Even when the world makes us believe that love is for the weak, love is one thing that makes a person strong. Even when the misconception of love seems applicable and seems easy to relate on, it will lead us to trouble. Love needs to be experienced personally, but will eventually shown in action. We cannot say we love if we keep on hating. We cannot love if we keep on judging. For love covers all sins, and will always direct us to the right path which is God Himself. So love, not because they deserve it. But because we simply love.
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In truth, it is very natural to love. Every human being is capable of love, but unfortunately, many have crippled themselves with all kinds of belief systems, opinions, philosophies, ideologies – everything except life itself, especially modern Christianity. You want to export everything that is beautiful in your life to heaven and live wantonly on this planet. You and your fellow follower either profess to love God or believe God loves them. The assumption is that love is a quality that needs to imported from Heaven. But does anyone of you know whether God loves or not? You bow down to whoever created this magnificent creation – a creation that boggles the mind. Still, you don't know whether he is love or joy or peace.
ReplyDeleteWhen the modern Christian talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love in your church community. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition there is love, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient deal, perhaps a good arrangement – maybe many people made great arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. Then you consider it as evil, and your are being patient, even you call it a sacrifice like Jesus did. Your actions are as the external situation demands. What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions.
But love is an inner state – how in the world you are within yourself can be unconditional. You don't even know that love is not something to do with someone else. Love is never between two people. It is what happens to you, and what happens within you need not be enslaved to another person.
I don't call this a misconception of love; it's misapprehension, a total mistaken belief, a delusion.