I have a BIG and HUGE love-hate relationship with this matter, waiting.
Either itu menunggu kendaraan, menunggu minum yang udah lama di order, atau menunggu...apa hayo.
Hahaha apapun itu there's always this funny feeling when it comes to waiting.
Why I love waiting?
Saya suka rasa penasaran yang muncul di antara perut dan dada *is it just me or you guys feel that too?*
Saya suka cerita khayal yang kita buat di pikiran saat menunggu.
I love how time suddenly turns slow while waiting.
Semua terasa perasaan terasa lebih, tajam.
But, why do I hate it?
Karena saya penasaran & gak sabar! <-- LABIL.
Sudah seminggu ini on my devotion, it talk so much about self-control. Trus kemarin hari Sabtu pagi, I got this word and it's really strong in my heart.
Wait
Di hati saya langsung, ah Tuhan maksudnya apaan nih. Kan lagi belajar self-control, kenapa wait?
And then He taught me about Abraham.
Abraham udah nunggu berpuluh-puluh tahun untuk mempunyai momongan dari istri nya, Sarah. Sebelum birthday blast nya yang ke-1 abad, 3 angels came and told him that Sarah will bore a child. In my opinion, the angels came bukan 1 tahun sebelumnya, atau 5 bulan sebelumnya, tapi berpuluh-puluh tahun sebelum nya. I am sure pas awalnya Abraham feels so excited. Gue akan punya anak!
5 tahun berlalu.
6 tahun berlalu.
20 tahun berlalu.
Dimana anak itu? Abraham dan Sarah sudah tambah tua. Secara biologis, even in the old days, they are too old to have a child. Sarah became so desperate, dia kasih Hagar ke Abraham untuk punya anak. And Hagar did. Setelah Ismail lahir, Ishak pun lahir. God kept His promise.
And then God showed me another one. Joseph.
Waktu dia masih muda/kecil *i'm not sure*, dia dikasih Tuhan mimpi yang intinya his brothers will bow to him. Si abang-abang nya keki dengernya, apa nih bocah congkak amat. Dibuanglah si Yusuf, dijual ke orang Mesir jadi budak. They take Joseph's beautiful coat, they ripped it and dipped it into blood. Showing to Jacob that Joseph is dead. Di Mesir Yusuf dibeli sama Om Potifar, salah satu MPR nya Raja Firaun. Yusuf karir nya melejat tinggi, he became the chief in Potifar's house. Ketemu lah sama Tante Potifar, the bombshell babe of the house. She cannot control her desires as she sees that baby-face hottie keliaran di rumah nya. She tried to seduce Joseph, and smart kid he ran away. Gengsi takut ketauan kegatelan sama brondong, si Tante fitnah Yusuf sama dijeblosin ke penjara. Years and years he stayed in the prison, sampe akhirnya temen ex-napi nya inget sama Yusuf and he help him get out of the prison to help the King with his dream. Long story short, God fulfilled the dream He once gave to Joseph.
2 man of faith. Did you see any difference from their story?
Sama-sama cinta Tuhan. Sama-sama dikasi janji. Sama-sama ditepatin. Sama-sama diberkati.
Apa bedanya? Self-control.
God did fulfilled His promise to Abraham, but he failed once. Waktu Sarah kasih Hagar, Abraham could just say no and walk away. Sarah could just ran to God when she couldn't stand the wait. But instead they made an alternate reality. Their alternate realty, not God's.
What happened next? Ishak tetep lahir, tapi gak pernah akur sama Ismail. It passes through their generations until now.
Did you see what happen ketika kita mulai kehilangan that self-control while waiting? "Dosa kecil" yang kita anggap sepele bisa menghancurkan generasi yang akan datang.
2 things we often do if we lose that self-control:
Either we keep on complaining, or we take over God's authority.
Gak ada yang lebih baik, dua-dua nya is an act of disbelieve in God's mighty power.
Complaining while waiting doesn't count as surrender, and take over God's authority is definitely unacceptable.
Isn't God a loving Father, who takes care of us? Bukan kah dia Allah yang punya rencana terbaik bagi kita?
So why don't we wait?
The thing about waiting, we don't only need faith,
we need self control.
We need to believe that what God has promised will arrive just in time even though we haven't see it yet.
And we need to hold back our ego and stop being a control-freak.
Sama seperti waktu kita kecil, papa mama kita mau beliin kita kado. Ulang tahun kita masih seminggu lagi sih, but we cannot wait! And it's our choice. Bisa kita minta kado nya duluan, tapi pas our birthday comes, nothing excite us or special anymore other than cakes and candles. Tapi if we just endure the wait, and enjoy the process that sometimes makes us anxious, the joy is indescribable.
Maybe God has promised you something for a long time.
Better job, better finance, good friends, good grades, love-life partner, happy family, or anything.
Maybe you're in that moment like Sarah, Abraham & Joseph. When it seems that that promise is dying. Like nothing is happening, and there's no more hope.
Segelap-gelap nya ruangan, pasti ada cahaya.
Start believing that it will come.
In the right place, right time, in a right way.
Just enjoy the process. Setiap detik nya. Perasaan penarasan yang makin tajam itu.
Taste, and see that the Lord is good!
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord! Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord!
-Psalm 27:14 NLT-
