The Conclusion

Hi, I miss you. 

I know I've been gone way too long and let me tell ya, 2 months without you and telling you my stories is tough. Unlike any other years, this April feels so long. It felt like years to went through this month. 

A lot has happened. I survived my finals, btw. It was kinda tough, at first, but gladly it turns out alright. 

Anyways the reason why I've been away for 2 months was fasting not to open any social medias in order to study more. That's what I told everyone. But the other reason is, I got tired. 

I got tired of knowing too much.

We all need that kind of breaks. Away from something that might distract us, and focus on something we really need. I know the idea may sound a little ridiculous, but it somehow changes the way I live and see things.

I learned to control myself. Not saying all the things that I feel, and knowing something I shouldn't pay attention to. It's not that now I started to keep things inside, it's just there are many things I regret saying. And I just want to restart everything. That's why I fast. And I don't know how it does things, but whenever I fast, I met interesting people and learn interesting things.

You know the times when we hear about something and we're not sure of what actually happened but we make this alternate stories of what may has happened in our heads? Don't do it. I learned it during my fast. Because it doesn't matter really of what we know. It isn't that great to be someone who knows lots of things,  especially when we acted like we know one. Stop judging something before knowing on something that actually happened.

I spent most of my fast days thinking. About the future, about life. 

A new chapter is happening right now. I kinda feel it inside. April has gone by, it left us so many moments to be cherished. I'm so curious about what's going to happen next. Whom will I meet? What will I learned? What will I feel? 

I'm so thankful of what He has done to me this month. How did I even survived and the pains? What do I deserve for this blessings I get? I'm not going to make up stories in my mind about days to come. I'm laying all the expectations on His table. I'll let You do all the job. Thank you for being there these past 30 days. Thank you for the strength, for the joy and even for the pains.

No matter how much I'm curious about the plans in life, I won't try to fix things up. I'll just enjoy all the process. 

Be happy, be cheerful always. Try to love everything that will come, even all the little moments. Let's win this journey with strong heart, and this is for you :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZfUQTSzH9k

Bold.

Hai Sugaa. Apa kabarmu? Sudah lama yah terakhir kita berjumpa. 

Kabarku? 

Aku gak tau mesti mulai darimana.

Hidup ini unik yah. 3 bulan ini berlalu sangat cepat, banyak hal yang terjadi. 

Aku gak tau apa aku atau sekitar ku yang banyak berubah.

Aku udah jadi terlalu mati rasa, atau aku sudah terbiasa nelan perasaan?

Ah ikut Tuhan itu selalu manise. Sudah mau bulan ke-4 sejak penyerahan hidupku sama Tuhan. 

Mungkin karena itu aku jadi kesan nya mati rasa. 

Aku juga bingung, Ga, kok bisa sih kuat lewatin keras nya hidup dengan santai?

Ya, mungkin aku sudah makin kuat but nevertheless, I'm happy. :)

Selalu setiap habis melihat kenyataan pahit, somehow He instantly replace it with precious people to cheer me up. 

Aku tau kedepan pasti makin sulit, pasti Ga. Hidup itu keras, Ga. Keras banget.

 Tapi orang kuat tantangan nya pasti kuat kan? 

Aku suka deh ayat sate ku hari ini:

Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,

but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. -Psalm 34:10-

Aku harap kamu juga makin kuat. Seperti Dia, the source of our strengths :)

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Anyways me and chis is now starting our very own Youtube account! Please comment and subscribe for more videos to come. *bocoran: new song coming right up this week! hopefully :P*

"With a dress she sat on the edge. 

She's a fine girl just like everyone else.

Her full lips turned upside down,

Her sparkling eyes seems have just been drowned.

She got many arms to hold, many shoulders to lean on.

Her heart is aching , she knows it well.

Her hearts feels empty, she don't know why.

She forced herself to rush to seek,

To find the love that make her complete.

He offered to love and hold her so tight,

'Yes' she said though she knows it ain't right. 

He's by her side, yet she feels on her own.

He's always there, yet she feels all alone."

Loneliness cannot be described. It robs our happiness. And we don't need to be alone to feel lonely, sometimes even though there are people around us, we can feel lonely.

We can be lonely on our own, but even worse, we can be even lonelier with the wrong person.

It's better to walk away from a relationship and being alone, rather than staying in a wrong relationship that makes us feel lonely.

Is loneliness conquering you right now?

Whenever I feel lonely I cry out to God.

And it's amazing how He could renew our hearts.

He found us in the aftermath.

He fills the empty seat in my heart,

and gives me an eternal peace.

I'm not a big fan, but there's one K-POP song we really like.

It's a song that tells about a girl who got involved in a relationship and yet felt lonely.

She knew it was wrong and she walked away.

It's a beautiful song, so my sister and I made a cover of the song in Japanese version.

Hope it blesses you.

Happy Tuesday.

:)

Lonely - 2NE1 Japanese Cover by EmmandChis