Closure #AnakPendeta

In most of my life, I always tend to figure everything out. To win every battle, to answer every life's questions. Tapi dalam kehidupan, bukan begitu caranya. Terkadang ada momen-momen dimana kita hanya bisa diam dan bertanya "mengapa". That's how I view my identity. I spent so many years figuring out why - out of many people - I am the one chosen to be in this position, with this gifts inside of me. Aku selalu ingin jadi si orang biasa, si pekerja kreatif yang tidak terkukung dengan istilah kerohanian.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, aku sedang melihat-lihat feed Pinterest dan aku menemukan ada satu gambar quotes yang isinya: "You are your most self when you are living your calling." Jujur selama kehidupan ku yang penuh tanda tanya dan penolakan, aku tidak pernah merasa menjadi Emma yang seutuh nya. And that is true. Semakin kita menjauh dari identitas yang Tuhan berikan dalam kehidupan kita, semakin kita jauh dari kita yang sebenarnya. Siapakah kita sampai untuk masalah identitas kita merasa lebih hebat, lebih pintar, lebih tau dari pada Tuhan?

You know, Anak Pendeta will never sound good in my ear. NEVER. I guess that is what Jesus experience during His time on earth. Keluar dari segala kemuliaan Nya, He controls Himself, downgrading almost most of who He is, just to show us an example on how to love the Lord, and how to be His child. Aku rasa dia pasti mengalami momen-momen dimana rasa nya Ia ingin kembali ke asalNya dan memberi kita keselamatan begitu saja. But He didn't. He know what He is called for & He knows that in order for the Lord's purpose being done, He needs to live His calling.

Aku rasa kita juga seperti itu. Apapun panggilan dan identitas kita. Apakah kita si famous, atau si pintar, si pengusaha maupun si anak pendeta, who we are is God's tool to accomplish His purpose through us. Dan aku percaya setiap kali kita memahami dan menjalani identitas kita dengan sepenuh hati, hati kita akan menjadi penuh.

I've come to a point in my life when I can see that who I am, is bringing God's glory to where I am. Actually it doesn't matter to me of who I am, or what title I carry. But through those identities and titles, God's heart are manifested. It's never a simple life to be the Pastor's daughter, much given much taken. But I am continually learning that it is not about me. It never be and never will. But it is an honor to be placed by God in this position, because I know that He had things to be done through my life if I would just obey.

So what's your story? Who are you?
Do you understand of why God placed you where you are?
Are you full of confidence that He gave you the perfect life? 

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?

Esther 4:14